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The Hidden Hazards of Shower Doors

There is a serious safety issue out there that I am sure most Americans are unaware of.  This concern was brought to my attention by my husband who is normally not too concerned.

When we moved into our new “built in 1962” house, I immediately noticed that the bathrooms were furnished with standard issue sliding shower doors.  I have a strong aversion to these doors and the metal tracks that hold them.  So I asked my husband to remove the unsightly doors from our three showers so that I could replace them with lovely, overpriced shower curtains made from imported fabric.  Mr. Practical decided instead to simply clean one door—hoping to convince me of its beauty.

I was busy doing something vitally important, which I can not recall right now, when all of a sudden I heard a loud explosion.  Fearful for my husband’s life, I stayed in the kitchen with my eyes closed hoping this sound meant nothing.

A few minutes later, my husband appeared in the kitchen with a surprised and worried look on his face.  Apparently, the door was angry with him and to get back at him, it exploded into 100,000 tiny Plexi glass pieces.  Either that, or no one had ever cleaned it before, which is another good reason to remove it.

Well this was obviously a one-time bizarre occurrence, he assured me, and he would use a less powerful cleaning agent on the next door.  But the second door heard what the first door did and in a show of solidarity, it burst open spraying bits and pieces of itself everywhere.   Imagine the pent up anger.

As if this is not worrisome enough, consider how many Americans, and maybe even Europeans, clean their shower doors while they are naked in the shower.  It is certainly more convenient than getting all wet and bending this way and that to reach inside the shower.  Should your door become angry and explode all over you while you are in this compromised position, I dare say we will see all kinds of lawsuits.  And many more curtains. In our case, we clearly got the message and left the third shower door in place.

It turned out to be the favorite shower in the house.  I guess it was proud of itself having been the one surviving shower door and as such it took a position of royalty.  Guests loved it – not having their toiletry bag fight for best fabric award with a trendy shower curtain.  Children tussled to receive the green light to take a shower in the extra bathroom.  Added bonus: the shower head was height adjustable so kids were more comfortable and tall people need not worry that only half their body was getting clean.  Remarkably, the shower door never once threatened to explode on us no matter if we were naked, clothed, or otherwise.  Sometimes we even wished that we had not removed the other doors whose showers now had curtains flapping in the breeze to their own odd rhythms.

The “third door” served us well for eight plus years and I am sad to say we had to leave it behind when we relocated to another part of the country.  The new owner will undoubtedly wrestle with redecorating and updating the house so I am mailing them a helmet and full-body safety suit with complete instructions and a link to this blog posting. May the best sport win, but my bets are on the door.

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